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Feeling Incomplete

Do you ever get that feeling you are incomplete? A sense that something is missing? But you can’t quite put your finger on what it is. This is something that happens to me from time to time and it seems to come in waves. There are times when everything is in flow, everything seems somehow connected and aligned. And other times when there is an inner sense that something is up.

And it’s also seems hard to put that into words. It seems to live at an instinctive and feeling level so when others ask if all is okay, you kind of say well yes and well no. And then they look at you quizzically and you follow with I’m just tired or had a bad day. And sometimes that is the right answer. But usually, in my experience, it is a sign that there is something else up. That feeling of incompleteness is a nudge. You are ready for either more or different. There is always something bigger around the corner. Because this is working at an instinctive or spiritual level, it usually requires patience.

When I get that incomplete feeling I now know that it is time for change. It is a time to let go. It is a time to rethink your direction, your work, your life in balance with all the intricacies and relationships that you have. 

Sometimes we have that moment in the shower when we suddenly know. We get an insight or idea or direction to take. I spend a lot of time in the shower! But even when we know, we can be gripped with a fear. A fear of change. A fear of the impact. A worry that we have no real idea about how to make that happen. A fear that we are too small.

At other times it’s a slow burn. Life gets in the way. The family demands, the increased workload, the social engagements, the tiredness. We ignore the signs. We distrust we can step up. We play with it in our minds. And then we must make a decision.

We either embrace the fear and do it anyway (great title of Susan Jeffers Book) or we make a choice to stick with what we have. Stay with the here and now and be grateful for all of the wonderful blessings we have. Being present is often as tough as creating the new!

If you are feeling incomplete, there are a couple of things I would encourage you to explore.

1. Wheel of Life

I really like this tool I probably do it about once a year. Always around Christmas / New Year and sometimes in the summer when I want to reconnect. It’s a simple process but because it is a strong visual process you get to quickly see what is going on in your life. 

Here’s the how:

  • Think about your life and the ‘categories’ or roles you play, e.g. family, partner, friend, boss, personal development, exercise, health, finances, etc.
  • Then give yourself a simple score from 1 to 10 about how satisfied you are with that aspect of your life. If you do this as a pie chart, you can have 0 in the middle and 10 on the outer circle. 
  • Next think about where you want the circles to move to and pick a timescale. You could think about the next 6 months or the next 5 years. In my experience the shorter the timescale the more mindful and focused you are about creating change.
  • Now have a look at the biggest gaps and pick a maximum of 3 areas of your life you are going to ‘change’. Where do you feel there is something missing? What are you being pulled to look into?
  • Finally set yourself some goals or perhaps some actions that will help you feel greater fulfilment or ‘completeness’.

This is a lovely activity. And one you can also do with your family if you’d like to see where they are all at. There’s no point you driving more family time if the rest of them have that as a 10 already! 

2. Meditation.

I’m a huge believer in the power of meditation. It calms the mind, it opens up the mind to possibilities, it helps you feel so much more at peace and at the same time more in control of your destiny. Time after time after time clients report how, once they get over the initial ‘I can’t do it’ find this to be one of their most powerful daily practises. 

If you would like to consider meditating more, then I recommend Deepak Chopra and Oprah Winfrey. They are currently doing a 3-week free meditation series called Gratitude through Grace. I’m a big fan of them both and there is both learning as well as silent meditation too.

You can sign up for free here: https://chopracentermeditation.com

Enjoy these exercises and please do let me know how you get on, I love to hear your stories and your transformations. 

And why not take a look at the programmes we offer: www.thewla.com. We’d love to meet you.

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